LIFE IS A BLUR~

Denny and Dad

I swear to you that since last Wednesday, life has been a blur.  That explains why I haven't posted for awhile.  Bob's Dad has been in town from Florida, so we have been enjoying his company.  And if you are at all interested, here's what we have been up to...

I had a ladies night mid-week in remembrance of Mike.  We got together for drinks and shared some stories, laughter and tears.  We all drank way to much but had a blast, so it was all worth it even the next day.

The following day we had an open house at Grace's school.  Grace had such a good time showing off her classroom and friends to all the family.  I am so proud of my little girl.

Friday we went a Lake Erie Monsters game.  It was $1 hot dog night and we all bet on how many dogs Denny would consume.  We placed 10 in front of him and I think he ended up eating three.  

Denny not sure what to do w/ all the dogs

Saturday was Beckie's birthday and Pete planned a dinner at Shintos.  You can never go wrong at Shintos.  The hibachi part and the sushi are always amazing.  

Me, Bob and the kids @ Shintos

Pete & Beck @ Shintos

Now this week is filled with lots more. Today I am making chili for tonight's Browns party.  Later this week Grace and Nana are going to see a Cinderella play and G is super excited.  

GO Browns!!

BE OKAY~

Inspired by Nina, this is to my girls who need it most. 

 There is a lot of hurt in my circle of friends right now.  It seems like everyone has some stuff going on that is making for some heavy hearts.  

Also, in a couple of days will mark the two year anniversary of the loss of a dear, dear friend.

This is and now will forever be a hard time of year as we remember the life of Mike, who touched us all in so many ways.  

Click  here and know we will all be okay!

THE ONE YOU KNEW

The piece of Earth where Mike passed

I really struggled with weather or not this was something I should post on my blog. It's all engraved in my mind and the only reason I took pictures was because Tracy asked me to.
This is about as personal as I will ever get here.
I want to share it though b/c I know if you are reading this, you'll appreciate the sacredness of it all.

Mike's little brother Russ made this and hung it on a tree near where Mike was

I don't intend for this to be a "sad" post because finally, after 1 year, I do feel peace with Mike's passing. And way more importantly, Tracy is finding peace.

I want to share these pictures and I think Tracy would want me too also.

On a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago, I went with Tracy to the woods were Mike passed. It was one day before the 1 year "anniversary" of his passing.
The owner of the property was one of Mike's best friends. His name is Fritz.
Fritz showed us around the woods. We came to the tree where Mike spent his last hours, perched on his tree stand waiting for deer.
The marks from Mike's stand are still engraved in the tree.

Fritz will not let any other person, any other hunter, go in that tree. Here is a picture of it. Mike's Dad made the cross that hangs from it.

A few feet ahead was another beautiful tree and infront of it was where Mike fell to the ground and took his last breaths.

A couple of things happened in those woods while we were there that were nothing short of amazing. In my head, all I was thinking was "Are you EFF-IN SERIOUS.?" Did anyone else see and hear it? "
We had an hour drive home and once we all composed ourselves, someone was brave enough to ask...

And yes,
We all saw it.
We all heard it...

Thank you Mike for so warmly welcoming us to you'r land.
You made us cry there. You made us smile there.
You'r presence was felt and next time,
you don't need to be so damn dramatic.
Love you Mike and thank you.

~`On a side note, there is a song called "The One You Knew" from Josh Radin. That's where I borrowed the title of this post from. Check out the song if you can.

THE NEXT YEAR OF MY LIFE

I recently celebrated my 31st bday. The last year of my life was a bit rough. It's like I turned 30 and things started to really stink. I let myself go physically, mentally and spiritually. I feel like I have not been my self and it has had an affect on my daily life.

Mike's death is something that I have had a hard time dealing with. It's almost been a year, and even my Doctor told me last week that it is time I "get over it.' He didn't say those exact words, but he said the grieving period should be over after 6 months, 1 year max. It all sounded so matter-of-factly. I didn't take it personally, I think everyone reacts to things their own way.
So the point of all of this is that I want to spend this next year taking better care of myself. I need to get back in shape, get back to church and take more time for my mental well being.

I feel like I have started this journey this past weekend. Bob and I enjoyed every moment with the kids and with each other. We didn't do anything special, we just spent good time together. And, we finally made it to church on Sunday morning.
We also took some time this weekend thinking about expanding our family. Sunday we went out and looked at Goldendoodle puppies. We didn't bring one home with us (surprisingly) but we are going to continue to look until we find just the right one who will fit into our family.

Hope everyone has a great week!

ARE YOU GIRLS THE DIXIE CHICKS

What? I've been asked a lot of random questions while out, but this one was definitely a first. And the man who asked it, well, he is one of a kind. Picture an older biker dude, with a frothy beard. Carie and I compared him to a dog foaming at the mouth. It may have been one of the most disgusting sights I've seen, and one that I will have a hard time shaking from my memory.
This occurred on Sunday. There was another fundraiser/event in memory of Mike. It was definitely a different crowd, lots of leather, lots of black, but regardless, we were all their for the same reason. That being to raise money and to remember our good friend. I have to say, I had a great time. My brother and I went b/c Bob had a job interview early this morning (which, by the way, went very well.)
The drinks were flowing, people watching was in FULL effect, and we even got to dance a little. It was a nice way to spend a Sunday evening. Here are some pics:

carie, me, judie and tracy

tracy, me & kate

judie and tracy

tracy, carrie, my brother and me

For more pics, go here.

MUMS

Today was the last MUMS group until September. I am seriously bummed out about it, but today Tracy's sis-in-law had a good idea. During the summer, the 3 of us will hold our own MUMS group once a month at each others houses. I love it.

For some reason today was super emotional. During the final prayer, I started crying and couldn't stop. Then when I was walking back to the day care with Tracy and Linda, I mentioned that I finally had a dream about Mike the other night (this is the first time he's been in my dreams since he passed.) That got the water works going for all 3 of us. Then I am feeling like an ass b/c I am being consoled by Mike's wife and sister. I don't know, it's been almost 6 months since he has passed, and the pain of his passing is not going away. How could something that happened last November still not feel real?

I can't even really tell you what the speaker today talked about. I was in my own little world and couldn't focus on her. I just want Tracy and the kids to be okay. I want Mike's sister and brother to find peace. I want my heart to stop feeling so heavy, but I never ever want to forget what a wonderful person he was.

MIKE~

Tracy & Mike, last Halloween

Dear Friends,

Tracy, who I have posted about many times here, lost her husband Mike on Sunday. He passed away from a hunting accident. He was doing what he loved when he left this earth at the age of 31.

I don't feel quite right posting this, but I am because we need your prayers. Tracy lost her husband and best friend. Baby Mia, little Madison and Michael lost their dear father.

Many of us lost a cherished friend.

So please, pray with everything you have.

Amanda