AT LEAST THEY CAN AGREE~

Today, Grace asked me, "Mom, who do you like better? Me or Denny."

My obvious response was, "I like and love you both the same."

Not convinced or satisfied with my answer, Grace rolled her eyes and said, "I know that's not true Mom. Denny is annoying and I'm not. So you like me more."

Then Denny pipes in and says, "Yeah, I am annoying."

CONVERSATIONS

Here is a recent phone call between me and a family member. I only wish I could make this stuff up:


FM: Dude, I'm at a tattoo party, do you wanna come by and get some ink?

M: Are you crazy, no!

FM: Dude, you've been saying for a long time now that you want to get something with your kids names.

M: I do. But I don't know exactly what I want yet and I AM NOT going to some weirdo's house to get a tattoo.

FM: Dude, no one here is weird.

M: Yeah, well, you sound f-ed up and that's not my scene.

FM: Listen dude, everyone here is normal like us. We're just sitting around, getting tattoos, and eating salads.

M: Goodbye